Why Wall-E Made Me Happy

Jeremy BeckReviews

Back in March when I learned that the seventh Harry Potter book would be split into two movies, I immediately told my roommate Nate the good news. He quipped that I was excited only because it would “give me reason to live for that much longer” (rather than one movie bowing in December 2010, the new schedule called for the first movie to be released late in 2010, with the conclusion following in summer of 2011). Nate was being funny, but he wasn’t entirely wrong – I’ve often wondered if I’ll be subject to Post-Potter depression following the franchise’s cinematic finale (I certainly did my share of wailing after finishing the final book).

Last week, however, I determined that I need not worry. Not that I’m implying that the filmic culmination of the landmark fantasy series of my generation is insignificant; on the contrary, I’m confident I’ll be downright inconsolable watching Harry’s final duel with Voldemort at the Boston Common three years from now. But there will be other movies, other books, other franchises, other incarnations of populist entertainment with their own brand of magic. And last weekend I savored a delectable dose of such magic, a testament to the enduring power of the movies. I saw Wall-E. Read More

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You Heard Me Correctly: Michael Beasley Is the Only Pick

Jeremy BeckUncategorized

With the 2008 NBA Draft on Thursday, I need to cover basketball for a second. While I’m tempted to write a 15,000-word mock draft (featuring a detailed description of my forthcoming murder spree should the Knicks trade David Lee in order to draft Eric Gordon), I honestly don’t have the energy – I’ve been running on fumes ever since the season finale of “Battlestar Galactica” a few weeks ago. But I do feel compelled to take a moment to mention in writing of my unseemly adoration for Michael Beasley. Simply put, I think Beasley is the most talented big man to come into the league since Tim Duncan in ’97, and barring injury, I think he’ll finish his career as a bona fide superstar. Super. Fucking. Star.

I am, as usual, defying (or I guess attempting to defy) conventional wisdom. Last year, American basketball audiences were transfixed by two freshman phenoms: Ohio State center Greg Oden and Texas forward Kevin Durant. Most fans tended to prefer the flashier Durant; naturally, I was in the Oden camp. Oden wound up being the #1 pick because the Blazers couldn’t pass up a dominant big man who had people jabbering comparisons to Bill Russell. Of course, Oden wound up having microfracture surgery before even playing a game, whereas Durant went on to win Rookie of the Year. Current score: Public 1, Manifesto 0. Read More

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A Bold, Fearless, and Utterly Inconsequential Prediction

Jeremy BeckFeatures

For all of my supposed self-deprecation, I actually pride myself on quite a few things in life. I’m unbelievably quick utilizing the keystrokes in Microsoft Excel. I instinctively know how to wire a TV set without reading a manual. I can play shortstop successfully in softball despite being left-handed. I can recite the entire offensive starting lineup of the 1992 Houston Oilers from memory, as well as most of the defense. And of course, I’m an unstoppable weapon in certain trivia subjects, particularly Harry Potter, Star Wars, and softcore porn.

In addition to these worthy talents, I like to think I’m a successful prognosticator. Not in terms of predicting the results of sporting events, mind you (boy, these NBA Playoffs sure are tricky), or even in prophesying Oscar winners, my supposed area of expertise (don’t get me started on Trash). I do believe, however, that I have the sight when it comes to forecasting future stardom for upcoming actors and actresses, as I’ve accurately heralded success for a variety of aspiring actors when their fame was in its relative infancy. These include – but are not limited to – Tobey Maguire (after Pleasantville but before Cider House Rules and way before Spider-man), Charlize Theron (after her pantheon nude scene in 2 Days in the Valley, before her pantheon nude scene in The Devil’s Advocate), and, of course, Keira Knightley (after Bend It Like Beckham, before Pirates of the Caribbean). The latter remains one of the greatest accomplishments of my life, along with guiding Warren Moon to an 8,500-yard passing season in Tecmo Bowl and leading the league in infield hits last softball season. Read More

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Review: Narrow Stairs (or, How Death Cab for Cutie Have Changed My Life)

Jeremy BeckFeatures

I know this is supposed to be a movie blog, but I need to veer into music for a bit, and besides, given that I’ve published exactly one new post since the publication of the latest Manifesto, it’s not as if I’m radically changing the tone of the site. Before I start, a couple of disclaimers:

Disclaimer #1: I am not a music critic. I fully admit that I have absolutely no idea how to properly write a review of an album. In fact, only recently have I been listening to albums in their entirety and evaluating songs in the context of an overall record, rather than on an individual basis. Therefore, it is safe to say that I am poorly schooled in the theory of musical criticism. So anyone who reads this post and determines that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, well, now you know why. Read More

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The Most Momentous Moment at the Movies in 2008 (thus far)

Jeremy BeckFeatures

This evening I watched my third movie in three consecutive nights. (I like to call it “tripling up”. It’s an especially fulfilling feeling, up there with getting a strike in bowling or making that diving catch from shortstop to start a line-drive 6-3 double play in softball.) After enjoying Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who! (which made me feel like a giddy little kid part of the time) on Friday and enduring Michael Haneke’s Funny Games (which made me feel like I needed a shower) on Saturday, tonight I watched Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. The movie was predictable, insubstantial, and wholly worthwhile, with Amy Adams at her most incandescent.

But this isn’t a post about any of the previously mentioned movies. It’s about the trailer I just watched (perhaps “experienced” or “participated in” would be a better choice) during the showing of Miss Pettigrew. Although it’s early thus far in 2008, I’ve already managed to see 13 films in theatres (for the record, The Bank Job is probably the best of the bunch). I don’t reveal this to brag about how diligent I’ve been in attending movies (well, maybe a little) but to emphasize that the most important cinematic moment I’ve experienced thus far came watching this trailer. Read More

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